I don't ever want to read another piece of writing that is not my own again. And somehow, I feel like I can make that sound a degree or two less incredibly self-absorbed. And I'm sure the scant amount of people that actually check this stuff out might be able to understand that. I hate feeling like I've been molded by all the literature, all the recent mezcla that's tapped into my subconscious, and everyone I talk to or read from on a daily basis. It's so strange that the way we piece together our words, the way we "shape ourselves" stylistically is based around our favorite parts of the world outside of our intellect. And in a way, it's all very much contained within our own intellect - I guess we just perceive it that way. As if it was really our own.
I've been doing mildly rebellious things lately. And when I look at the things, they're really silly from the Joe perspective. It's just this fun little secretive thing I've been doing to entertain myself in one light. Mostly.
But you know I don't really want to make a list of them here, and the fact that I don't want to tell people about all these silly things just proves that I've been brainwashed into thinking I have to be a stick to honor my God. That's just it. I've been trying so hard to free myself of all nonsense, and trying to stick to the Bible more and more, and stick to the Holy Spirit like glue. Inside I know I crave the Word, and I crave the freedom to be with God on my own and not holding the hand of the church on my left, and the hand of my past experiences on my right. When I say church - don't get me wrong, I'm not referring to the real deal, Christ's GF or anything, just you know..the people. As much as it's so necessary to have relationships with the people, we shouldn't paste the words of our peers into an extended version of the Bible.
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